Episode #11 (Season 12) - "Judging in Meetings" (From 2022)

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Docovery Radio KMP three. You are listening to the recovery radio podcast on KMP three. I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I will be your host. And email me at sarcasticpitbook. Follow me on Instagram at sarcastic.book. Check out my website recovery radio a pick.com. And to get the books, go to sarcasticpitbook.com. Let's go to a and as always. I'm so glad you're here with me right now. I don't know if we're just getting started or just running down. Somewhere right in the middle. Maybe you're traveling, maybe you're running, maybe you're I don't know what you're doing. Curl up in the ball. I don't know, but here we are. You and me. I am glad for that. I am grateful I have no desire to drink today. And I am grateful I have a piping hot cup of my favorite coffee here. You know what it is. It's French roast, specifically from Trader Joe's, mixed with some Don Francisco's Hawaiian hazelnut out of the can from Fill in the Blank. You can get it at a lot of grocery stores. Anyways. Tried a lot of coffees. Drinking a lot of coffees from all kinds of places that are supposed to be fancy. They have a good reputation. Supposedly the baristas here are better than the ones here. These are coffee specialists, this and that, and this and that. I have to tell you. This right here. This crap I made. Cost about. cost nothing. Close to nothing. It's my favorite. For whatever that's worth. I know a lot of you tune in just to kind of get information on coffee, and I'm here to help. Also very nice to be with you, not sick for the first time in a long time. Feel pretty much 100% better now. I just had a flu. And um it was. It's weird. I was in such a good mood while I had it, though. I just I was, even though I sounded terrible and looked terrible and felt awful, and I was like, This is so great! This is the best. For some reason I couldn't get it out of my head that it's such a boutique problem to have, such an incredible problem to have, of all the problems that it one could have. I have a flu. Kind of amazing. I did uh recover from it, it seems, and I feel great, and I ran again today for the first time in a long time, and you can't even see me, I'm so fast. I haven't lost a step. You know, my nickname when I run, some of you know, is Blur. Because I run so fast. You can't see me. Part of me was worried that the long delay would uh you know, slow me down a bit, but not at all. I'm gonna read an email. I love getting emails from you. Got some over the holiday weekend and I appreciate it greatly. I'm gonna read one of them. Hello. It's uh the topic is finishing spiritual arrogance. That was um topic of a show I had, spiritual arrogance. Hello, my name is Jose. I'm a sober, recovered member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I want to first thank you for your podcast. Its message has truly transformed my recovery. I'm always so grateful that before and after a meeting, no matter how it goes, I know I can come back here and still get the message. Really takes the pressure off, plus I know I'm listening to a celebrity model, so obviously the advice is sound. I love when people joke around like that. It's so I just love it. I finished your episode on spiritual arrogance and thought that maybe it was time to email you. Your advice about making sure that when I share, I'm not attempting to be divisive or talk down someone else's program or give, quote, sober lessons, unquote, was bubble bursting. I found myself having to take a hard look at my unwillingness to allow my higher power to remove my judgment that I pass in meetings and simply be present, to listen, and be helpful and loving. With all that being said, you've mentioned before a set of handouts for a workshop, a collection of references, for the big book sorted by topic that you either did with your sponsor, or in a separate step study, the story of the problem. I've just been voted to facilitate the beginner's meeting and my fellowship, and I want to be able to pass the message in a meaningful and loving way. I sent those to Jose, by the way, and if anybody wants those, email me. I respect the attempts made by literature such as Living Sober to be helpful to the newcomer, but I feel that what you've shared carries the depth and weight necessary to convey what's in the book. If you can send me all three of the materials, the handouts, the big book topic guide, and the problem, that'll be awesome. I think everyone, especially the newcomers, will truly appreciate it. If you've made it here, thanks for reading. And keep living that life worth saving. It really seems like you're doing that. Sincerely, Jose. Thank you so much, Jose. If you want me to send you a copy of any of the books free of charge, just email me back and I will send it. It goes for anybody who's ever had a letter written on here. Uh read on here. Yeah, um yeah, about judging in meetings, I mean spiritual arrogance, I mean it's crazy. There's um I wanna I wanna I wanna describe something. Um Do you know what uh Asymptotic is? Asymptotic is like a it's a mathematical adjective, which means it's basically it's something that continues progressing but never reaches perfection, but it continues toward perfection with ever getting there ever. That's that's that's what and I say that because that's what all this is like. That's what spiritual growth is like in my experience in this program. It's just continuously moving towards something and never achieving it perfectly, but moving towards something endlessly, but a sincere effort to like Jose just said, like a a real willingness to to have God remove that judgment and move towards that. I went to a lot of meetings this weekend because I could, I had time, I wanted to, I was moved to and this very same thing we're talking about right now. Multiple times I said, Who do you think you are? Just listen. Just listen and be loving. Who do I think I am? To judge anyone, to look down on anyone. I think it's a relatively popular thing. I don't know how popular. I've heard it. A few times somebody said that, you know, alcoholic is like the only person who could be laying in a gutter and look down at people. I just think that I don't know what anybody needs to hear. I don't know what is helping someone. Everyone is in very different places. I remember when I was newly sober, what I needed to hear was very different than what I I don't know. I I heard things that really helped me at that time. And today I would listen to in judgment. So it's like, who the fuck do I think I am? It's so easy to be like, you know what? Now I know better, so like, you know I'm better. Mike who really demonstrated the big book and really changed my whole sobriety years ago. I used to say, you know, virtue recognized becomes vice. If you think you're humble, you're not. It's a state of being. It's a state of mind. As soon as I think that I'm humble, it's literally impossible for me to be. And I wouldn't do better in your shoes. You know.

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My gratitude is real today.

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So much of what has helped me with all this is my understanding of what the problem is. And in other words, I don't I don't blame any of my weird thinking on my alcoholism and that helps. I recognize things as selfish or not, and if it's selfish, God will remove that if I really want God to remove that. The book says it in my experience. It shows me that. If I really want God to remove my selfishness, God will do that. If I'm willing to practice love. Not complicated.

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And that's why it's central to so much of this clarity and calm that I have today. I still freak out.

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I still get irritated. I still get judgmental. I still get all these things. I still get fearful. But they're like places I visit briefly, but I don't live there anymore. They're like towns my train stops at momentarily now. And I used to just get out and walk around and be there for months.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Anyways, I gotta go. I got a big modeling shoot today.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

It's been a while. It's a year's end thing. It's the sexiest sober stallions of the year award magazine, Sexiest Stallions of the Year. Sexiest sober stallions of the year. And yours truly is a numero uno, as they say in my homeland. And um, yeah.

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So I'm flexing right now just to get ready.

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I recently posted a meme of a guy in a like a like a little tiny bikini. And some people were like, oh, you finally posted a selfie, and it's pretty funny, but I have to tell you, I'm much I have broad shoulders. I'm like a I could I could lift up this town right now if I wanted to. I don't want to. Alright. If anybody needs to hear it, I'll say everything's okay. It's really nice to be back here with you and feeling healthy and um. Hope you've decided you're gonna have a good day. I've decided it's gonna be a great day today. Go try and make it that. I do not know why my life was saved, but I'm gonna go try to live a life that was worth saving an eye.